The Decision

I will not go back to living in a cardboard box, begging for change, or sleeping in a homeless shelter because I make a decision everyday to give life all I’ve got.



I made a decision on a cold dark evening in my bunkbed of a homeless shelter on Skid Row. I knew after that night my life would never be the same. During the nights at the shelter there were women screaming, talking to themselves, and getting into fights. While I was there, I stayed quiet to myself and barely made eye contact with any of the other women. There were many nights when I cried myself to sleep. I can just picture myself there again with a thin blanket shivering and being scared for my life. Many nights I stared at the ceiling praying for God to keep me safe and asking for a way out.

One night a women threatened to cause me bodily harm because I stepped on her bed to get to the top bunk. I just remember apologizing to her and thinking to myself I have got to get out of here. This had to be the longest night of my life and my spirit would not settle. The next night I climbed in bed with a sheet of paper and a pen with a goal to write down my plan for getting out of the homeless shelter. Reminiscing on that night, I wrote for hours in small writing detailing the plans for my life and how I would get there. The inside of the shelter had no windows so I could not see when the sun was rising or when morning would come. The only thing I knew was my hand was tired and my body felt weak.

Before I drifted off to sleep, I made the following decision: “I will spend the rest of my life becoming the person I am meant to be.” Afterwards, I drifted off to sleep and woke up the next day with a change in the stride of my step. My mindset was different and every move I made had a purpose. Also, I made the decision to not spend the rest of my life living in a homeless shelter. From that day forward, I had an increased will to believe in myself and to never stop chasing my dreams. Without making that decision I would not be where I am today. I am only a few months from graduating and becoming a full-time therapist. I am no different from anyone else, but I made a decision and never wavered or faltered from that choice.

I challenge you to starting today to make clear decisions in your life and stick to them. The decision can and will transform your life for the better. Each day I make a decision to study, go to work, and be the best version of myself possible. I will not go back to living in a cardboard box, begging for change, or sleeping in a homeless shelter because I make a decision everyday to give life all I’ve got. I chose not to let my mental illness cripple me. I decide everyday to keep going against insurmountable odds. You can do the same! Start from today and make all the decisions necessary for your life to never be the same.

1 Comment to “ The I AM”

  1. May I simply just say what a comfort to uncover somebody that genuinely understands what theyre talking about over the internet. You definitely realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people should read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised you arent more popular because you most certainly possess the gift.

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